I recently posted on Facebook that I estimate that I’ve shaped over 156,000 eyebrows in the past 15 years. I was rounding down. As you can imagine, when one spends their days shaping, correcting, guiding other people’s eyebrows, you learn a few things about what a great eyebrow – or a badly shaped brow – says about a person. Eyebrows definitely tell a story. Is the person sophisticated? Affluent? Cheap? Visually impaired?

Maybe I’ve become a snob over the years, but to me, a person’s mental state and status seem incredibly obvious based on the eyebrows they’re sporting. You don’t often see poorly shaped brows in a cosmetics ad. None of Victoria’s Secret’s Angels have the dreaded hook.

See the photo below. Guess which one is a supermodel?

Of course, eyebrows are not simply either perfect or tragic. Most fall somewhere in between. It pains me to think that some people walk around perfectly content to have a mediocre appearance when its so easy to look great. One of my least favorite excuses that I’ve heard when someone with crazy brows asks me what I think of their eyebrows (they almost always know they dont look good) is “I’ll just have to keep grooming them if I start” to which I reply “So are you also never going to shower again? Or get a haircut? because you have to repeat those things too.”
Average eyebrows dont upset me as much as really bad brows. The ones that don’t scream “Good Mental Health” – those are the ones I’d like to get my hands – and tweezers – on.

Sometimes, bad brows say, “I’m mentally unbalanced” or “I’m in a gang” or “Yes, I do Crystal Meth, Why do you ask?”
When the police were chasing Andrew Cunanan for allegedly killing Gianni Versace, I knew he was guilty. He had the eyebrows of an escaped mental patient.

  If your brows look remotely like the photo above, please just turn yourself in to your local authorities.    

Having a fully actualised eyebrow – not too thin, not too short, not too far apart – is the easiest way to perfect your appearance short of plastic surgery. It’s like makeup that you don’t remove. Everyone can tell which of the pictures above is a beautiful model with classic eyebrows and which photo is the drug addled mere mortal. Just as you can tell who is who, so can the rest of the world, even if it’s on a subconcious level.

So when you think about grooming your brows, it should be more than an afterthought. Give your eyebrows – and your face – the attention they deserve!